9 The Diary of Jane

Garrus reflects on first meeting Jane.

Citadel  2183-1 The memoirs of Garrus Vakarian

Citadel Tower 2183-1. Palin was always an idiot (and a criminal, though I didn't know it at the time.) It was another useless conversation with my boss, another horrid day when my work got stalled by red tape, stupidity and a general lack of insight by my superiors. A small group of humans approached and Palin stalked off. I saw them in my peripheral vision. Three: a male and two females. I turned, I recognized the one in front, because everybody knows that face from the vids, the savior of Elysium: Commander Jane Shepard, XO of the Normandy. She's a larger than life figure and I expected that she would be larger than life… taller, heavier, more… like a male. She's average height, svelte and much more beautiful than her holo-pictures. Our eyes locked, for just an instant.

The only thing I could think was... inappropriate for the occasion.  I'd never been attracted to an alien before. Asari are nice to watch dancing, and they're smart and savvy if often lacking a sense of humor. But this woman… got me, instantly. Maybe it was her eyes, the color of my favorite turian chocolate. Maybe it was her mouth or all that weird hair humans have. Maybe it was the way she looked in the tight body armor carrying all those guns. My first and only thought was "I could pick you up with one hand and screw you pleasurably against this wall, right here in the Citadel Tower and not really care who watched." I blinked and swallowed and managed to introduce myself instead.

She was congenial. I was overheating. I almost shouted my frustration about Saren then excused myself. I headed down to the wards and grabbed some lunch at a turian fast food stand. I sat thinking about what had just happen in the tower and began to kick myself mentally. Stupid Vakarian you should have at least told her you'd like to talk about the case after she met with the council. Then I felt more stupid for even imagining that a human, with all their post Shanxi angst, would ever do more than just be polite to a turian. Finally I cursed myself, for being myself. My last relationship had ended sourly over a year ago, thanks to my hotheaded, hardheaded, bad assed attitude.

Still I couldn't get Shepard out of my head; lust at first sight was not my MO, but that woman… spirits. I wondered if she affected everyone that way. The male that had been with her, had the hangdog expression of unrequited love. It was plain in his eyes which starred at the back of her head and watched her every move. She was indifferent to him and unmated, my nose told me that.

I finished the greasy food and sat thinking about what I should have said to Shepard. Normally, I'm a pretty smooth talker with ladies, but that day I just felt dumb, tongue tied, lonely, horny and inapt. I needed a workout to calm down so I headed over to the clinic to help the doctor sort and stack boxes of medical supplies. Fist was busy with his extortion racket and Dr. Michel needed me to keep his thugs at bay. It would be a welcome distraction from what had just happened in the tower. I'd lift and stack and just forget that I had met Jane Shepard.

The thugs beat me to the clinic and they had poor Dr. Michel jacked up and terrified.  There were too many of them to take on by myself without getting her hurt for sure. They hadn't seen me so I grabbed cover and waited to see what they would do. It was tense and I knew there was no good outcome for this; Dr. Michel would be injured, either by them or by any shot I fired. Shepard and her squad walked in, distracting the morons Fist had sent.

I got a clean head shot with my Brawler, dropping the leader instantly. Shepard and her squad took out the rest. The commander is pretty handy with a pistol herself. Maybe I could give her some sniping lessons, make myself useful or even indispensable. I was fed up with C-sec and I had talents, intel and a skill set that could help her track down Saren. Spending time hunting together would be an excellent way to get to know one another. We both liked big guns, maybe she'd come to appreciate mine.

This time fate was beckoning to me and I knew it. My second chance to get it right with the female I knew I'd never get out of my head. Shepard was not leaving the Citadel without me. To my surprise, she readily agreed to have me along. She said welcome aboard with complete professionalism. But my turian nose soaked up the pheromones that just exploded from her skin: she was happy to see me again. I resigned from C-sec two seconds later.

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