16 The Diary of Jane, 2183-80 to 2183-81

Dear Jane: Your diary is very insightful. It really helps me to better recall those days and put everything in perspective which will help with the book. Did the Broker recover any additional entries? How many times did you call me an ass? I lost count at four. I'd forgotten all about those rabid varren and the things I'd said to Kaiden.

It was interesting to read your admission of being such a poor shot and your appreciation of my teaching you to handle a sniper rifle properly. You did greatly improve under my tutelage. Remember that the next time you insist that you let me win our shoot off on the Citadel bridge.

So my Turian voice got to you, huh? You were one cool cookie, running off to your quarters to research my dick. You're not so cool anymore are you, when you're begging me to give you more 'research'. You looked up Turian anatomy on the extranet and you called me nerdy? You could have just asked me, you know. I have always been delighted to instruct you in the proper use of all my weapons. I can't wait to read more. LOX-G.

Garrus: You're so mean. I do have a few more chapters but I'm not sure if I should share them now. How is Kraitus? Is the warmer weather on Palaven helping him any? Tell him we all miss him, Relni especially. She wants to see him before she goes to boot camp.  XOX Jane

Jane: Kraitus is much happier; he loves the sun and hot weather. I think he's going to complete the school year here with my dad. He's getting along well with Yri, Beldric and Timar and surprisingly, dad has taken to him. I'm sad to say that I guess a Turian grandson is all dad ever wanted out of me. They both seem happy so… I'm happy.

Share the chapters and I'll try not to be so hard on you. But it's so interesting to read a female's diary, especially when it's your mate who played hard to get and drove you so crazy because you didn't think she had a single nice or sexy feeling for you. And there you were, wetting yourself and I had no idea. So please, send more. I'll try not to be mean or sarcastic, but you know me. LOX -Garrus.

Garrus: Yeah I know you. And I love you anyway, you ass. Enjoy. Kisses Jane


2183- entry 80: Vermire- on approach
We had fun this evening. Everyone let their hair down because tomorrow we face the iron. Joker's comments about Shrek were just a riot, I'll never look at that vid the same way again. I out did myself with  a version of the three little pigs, from an engineer's point of view and Adams spit beer on Karen's shirt it was so funny. I lost three hundred credits playing poker before I had sense enough to stop. And I drank too much. Now my tummy hurts. Time to hunt the ginger ale or I won't be fit to fight.

2183- entry 81: Vermire- on approach
OMG. I just saw Garrus with nothing on but his shorts. OMG! What a body- I had no idea. Those shoulders, that ass, the biceps and the legs! What a body, hard and muscular! I found out that he doesn't have a girlfriend; (or so he claims), how could a body like that not have females of every species throwing themselves at it. And Turians like to paint their women to match themselves. It's some kind of mating ritual but it sounds super sexy. Like getting inked by you boyfriend while he's boinking you, (my friend Iris did that, she said it was wild!). This sound wilder, because Turians also 'embrace eternity' in a way, it seems.

And guess what, Garrus likes potato chips! I found something we can eat together without getting sick. He seems… lonely and I saw a side of him that is introspective, no that's not the right word. Just this different side; Garrus is not all loudness and sarcasm and trying to throw himself under the train or get killed in a fire fight. He wants something serious, I can tell. And he cares, he wants me to be… safe.

He asked me about Kaiden and Liara and was clearly trying to figure out if I had a partner. So this might go somewhere after all, (now that I know more about Turian anatomy and physiology. Yes, they do have dicks, rather impressive ones it seems). I was sitting there in my pajamas just praying he'd get closer, but the guy does respect chain of command; maybe a little too much. I'm such a wuss. I should have reached out to him.  Dumb, dumb Jane, waiting for the guy to make the first move is foolish in the twenty second century esp. when the poor guy is not even the same species and you lectured everyone about 'no fraternization' like an uptight bitch. It was stupid because I did want him but I didn't do anything but sit there like a horny little moron.

Thank God Garrus made a joke of my bashfulness and turned it into a bet. So now we have a standing bet about who kills Saren and a date for drinks and maybe dinner. I'm ready to off this idiot and his geth and move on to something new. I'm keeping Garrus though, that is one turian I plan to spend a lot more time with.

2183- entry 82: Vermire- post
Bad day. Horrid. I failed. Ash is gone. My fault. Bad guys got away. My fault too.


2183- entry 83: Citadel Space
The council handed me my head and my ass on the same platter for my colossal screw up and nuking paradise. Nothing hurts more that the letter I had to write to Ash's mom and sisters. Oh did I mention that I am such a looser I am grounded forever. I guess I deserve it. And by the way, the Reapers are still going to kick our butts.


2183- entry 84: Ilos on route
Anderson has risked everything to give me another chance. No more screw ups and only the heavy hitters are going to the dance: Garrus and Wrex; Kaiden had better go and fuck himself. If he ever tries to touch me again, I will flatten his ass. Ok I'm riled up now, save it for the Reapers, the geth and Saren.

2183- entry 85: Citadel Space
We did it, I think. Joker blew up the Reaper. Go Joker, I couldn't have done this without you. At least we have time. More Reapers are coming though. Now for sleep.

2183- entry 86: Citadel Space
Haven't had time to write, been too busy collecting medals. Those asses; a few days ago I was their goat; now I'm their savior, their 'Shepard'. I hate that quasi-religious bull crap, I'm nobody's, wait- Garrus is at the door.

Well…Garrus came by to try and welch on the bet. He didn't want to give me credit for convincing Saren to shoot himself and said that since he shot the Saren Reaper thing, I should buy the drinks. I got him straight about that, so now I have a dinner date for tonight. Garrus looked very nice in his civies; a dark blue tunic and pants. Oh and his voice, there was this purring noise, I can't describe it, I didn't really hear it. I more just felt it; like a cat's purr only more resonant. A little scary but… it gets me, right down there and in my bones, everywhere. I think… I'm done. A Turian and I'm done. Mom will not like this, but I may really be done.


2183- entry 87: Citadel Space
New orders: we are being sent to the Terminus systems to investigate the geth. This seems odd; I thought the council didn't meddle in Terminus system affairs. I smell a rat. Something tells me to be on my guard. The brass ordered it but the council had to approve...

2183- entry 88: Citadel Space
How did this happen? Garrus is gone, sent (or kidnapped) back to Palaven! He won't be back before we have to cruise. Stupid Jane, he's gone and all you did was hug him. Shit! Our orders are: Run silent, so I won't be able to even pick him up or even communicate with him. Shit. Shit. Our date was just getting started; we didn't even get to talk. Let me call Anderson, maybe he can help me.

No dice, Anderson can't help. The Turian councilor is behind this, but why?  Why why why Arrrghghggh!

2183- entry 91: Citadel Space

This is my last post for a while diary. On a silent run all communications are practically forbidden. We get one call out when we hit our alpha site, and then we go dark. I don't like this, something is wrong and Garrus is not here to help me. Kaiden is morose and Wrex wants to leave to attend to his own business. Liara has been in my face ever since Garrus left, I guess she sees her window of opportunity and plans to exploit it. I like her as my friend and crewmate but that's it, so I don't let her come to my quarters even though she has tried to invite herself twice.  She is openly making a play for me, so now I have to push her off without offending her. Damn. If Garrus was here, this would not happen I'm sure.

Other stupid news: I found used condoms in one of the escape pods when I did a spot inspection and I'm trying to decide if I should do a DNA analysis to ID the morons or let it slide. Our transponders crashed suddenly and had to be replaced withnew tech and software. I asked for promotions for my entire crew and got turned down. I asked for hazardous duty pay for the crew and that was also turned down. This is BS.

I got Garrus on the chat a few minutes ago and he said that the hierarchy gave him some medals and money and put him in SPECTRE training on Palaven. He doesn't know why he was taken to Palaven at gunpoint because the Primearch was surprised  that he'd been abducted that way. What the hell is Sparatus doing? This is wrong; I feel it in my gut. I'm needed on the bridge for the transit now. Bye diary, we'll talk again on the other side. Shepard out.


Jane: I had no idea you had such tender feelings for me so early on. Why didn't you tell me sooner? My perspective is very different from yours about the same events. There must be some more diary entries. Did you keep one after Cerberus woke you up? Share… LOX G.

Garrus: I didn't keep it in the cloud. We can talk about it when you come home. Kisses, Jane

Jane: I understand. See you in a few days. Hugs, Garrus

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